I swear I’ll be better about blogging. Things have been insane around here as I’m sure you can imagine. Life with a new baby is demanding, non-stop and incredible. It’s also fleeting! I’ve been soaking up the moments I can with my little man as he quickly grows far too fast for my liking and gains more independence every day. Let’s take a few posts to catch up and I promise to make every effort to be better at blogging more regularly (though 90% of you follow my on facebook anyway) 🙂
(except from Jackson’s journal)
I can’t believe how time is flying. You’re growing up so much!! You’ve begun to smile. Literally SMILE. And it melts my heart. You’ve always cracked a grin or two when you were sleeping but now you full on SMILE. You look up at me with your big blue eyes and give me one of your big gummy smiles and I fall head over heels in love with you all over again. I love waking up to you every morning. It seriously makes my day. I look down at your tiny little boy on my stomach and watch you as you stretttttttch every which way, every little limb of your body while arching your back and making the funniest little scrunched up face. When you’re done with that I give you a big ol’ kiss on your forehead and you start opening your eyes. You look up at me, I say “good morning” and smile at you and you crack your gummy grin. It’s the best morning routine in the world and I can’t imagine life without it.
As you can imagine, you are indeed still sleeping on me every night. I’ll admit, I’m kind of dreading the day you’re able to lay down in your own crib though our friends tell us that’s months off. I love being able to look down at you as I fall asleep, whenever I wake up and every single morning. I love feeling your heart beat against mine and knowing that you’re safe. I feel like this time is so fleeting and those moments I’d love to pause in time, but since I can’t I’m soaking them up every moment I can. Sometimes I wake up and just watch you sleep for a few minutes. I love seeing how peaceful you are. You’re so perfect!! And I still can’t believe we created you. That you were that little peanut that grew in my belly for 9 months. It’s hard to imagine.
You’ve started making more and more noises and I love it! You sit in my lap and make ridiculous faces, flail your arms and hands about and coo, ahh, and ooh at me. I like to think you’re telling me all about your day and I think about the days you’ll actually be able to tell me. I cherish these moments, these milestones, these memories. I’ve waited for you all my life and now that you’re here it’s even more incredible than my greatest dream.
You’ve begun having a witching hour this week. Starting at about 2pm you get into hysterical crying and screaming fits. Nothing seems to soothe you except for rocking you for hours. I hate to see you so sad, especially with those little tears of yours. They make your baby eyelashes still together. You stick out your bottom lip into a pout, have perfected the lip quiver and just let it roar. It breaks my heart. But I think I’ve finally found a way to calm you. I rock you in four directions and I just don’t stop. I love the smiles much more than those moments you’re in tears, of course, but I also feel relieved to know for now I’m able to calm you, soothe you, and mend your sadness. I hope all your life I’m able to give you some sort of comfort when you need it. As always, I am always here. I love you with all my heart little booger. You’re my world.
What else is new? Well, we had a bit of an issue with exclusively BFing when you were almost 4 weeks old. I got mastisis on my left side and you knew something was wrong and refuses to nurse on that side. Consequently my supply dropped and I wasn’t able to feed you as much as you needed to be fed. It broke my heart. You were only gaining 2.5oz a week and by 3 weeks old had yet to reach your birth weight. We started supplementing at 4 weeks and in just a week you gained 9 whole oz!! My supply came back with lotsssssssssssss of work and we were able to drop you down from 8 to 6oz of supplement. However, last Sunday daddy noticed blood in your diaper. We immediately called the pediatrician who immediately sent us to the ER. Our poor little guy. You had to have a tummy ultrasound. I held your hand the whole time, talked and sang to you and tried to make you as at peace as possible. You hated it though. It didn’t help that I wasn’t able to nurse you and you were hungry!! As soon as they were done we nursed and cuddled and you fell into a peaceful sleeps. It’s those moments I treasure so much. When you’re cuddled up on my chest completely at peace. Anyway, the results were that you have a milk protein allergy. You’re allergic to the supplements! We immediately nixed them and bought a new type that have zero cow’s milk (guess you take after me with the allergies—daddy has a tummy of steel). You’re down to 4oz of supplement a day but yesterday only had 1 oz!! My milk is going nuts and I’m able to feed you all on my own. I’m so glad because it’s the best for you.
Today we went to a fall festival in Germantown. You saw a pumpkin patch and went on your first hayride. However, you were much more concerned with sleeping and eating. You were a trooper though! And we got some adorable pictures of you. Gah, I love you so stinkin’ much.
We’ve been running at Sligo a lot lately. We strap you into your jogging stroller and you pass out as we clock the miles. Our longest run to date has been 4 miles and you snoozed the whole way. You’re the best running partner!! You always have been. Even when you were a little peanut in my tummy. I think it’s all those miles we’ve logged together that have made you love to be rocked so much. It’s what you grew getting used to.
As always, remember that I love you and you are the best thing that has come into my life.