Today is my mommy’s birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!! I felt it was time to make a blog post about one of the most important people in my life, my mommy. Maybe it’s because of our story that makes us so close, but whatever it is, I wouldn’t change the bond I have with my mother for anything in the world. It’s unbreakable.
When I was two, I was put up for adoption. My biological mother was addicted to drugs and alcohol and didn’t understand how nor have the capability to raise children. Yet, she had eight of us. I have five brothers and two sisters. At the age of two I was put into foster care. Susan, my mommy, was a foster mother for over a year but had never had a foster child in her home. One day she received a phone call about a two year old girl who needed placement. She immediately jumped at the idea. That evening, I arrived at her doorstep with nothing but a bag of diapers, the clothes on my body, and a lovely mix of an ear infection and mono.
The first week we lived together, we sat in this big rocking chair in our living room and read together. I looked at her with such seriousness and pointed to myself “my?” then to her “mommy?”. From then on, we were inseparable.
She spent the next five years fighting for custody of me. It took hours of visits with psychologists, my biological parents (until my bio mom stopped showing up), doctors, lawyers, etc. It took thousands of dollars in legal fees. She sacrificed the idea of marriage to fight for the chance of legally becoming my mother. And in the end, she won. We both did. She legally gained custody of me and I got the most incredible mommy in the world. She says the night I was born, though we didn’t know of each other, she wished upon a star that I’d come into her life. It’s why she always calls me Twinkle, cause I’m her lucky star.
Every weekend when I was growing up, my mom and I would go on adventures together. We’d go see plays or concerts, we’d draw in the park or bike ride in the woods. We’d go to the book signing of my favorite author or play with bubbles on our back deck. Weekends were times we’d spend together, we’d bond and we’d enjoy the simple things in life…namely, each other’s company. This was a tradition that I hope to pass on to my children one day.
Throughout my life, I’ve constantly fought with feelings of abandonment and wonder at what my biological parents put my siblings and I through. While I am the only one of my siblings with the same mother and father, they are all scarred with the same constant questioning. I, however, was the only one lucky enough to escape and to be blessed with a woman, a mother, who truly deserves the title in every way possible.
Of my eight siblings, I was the only one to graduate from high school. Not only that, I did so at the top of my class, with honors and with acceptances into every University I applied to (some with scholarships!). I graduated having been Captain of the Varsity Tennis Team for all four years of my HS career, a member of Varsity Swimming, Varsity Hockey, President of SADD, Vice President of the Art Club and a member of the Psychology Club, a Smithsonian Institution International Young Delegate (1 of only 35 students in the United States chosen), Editor of the school newspaper, member of the Animation Club and an active volunteer in the community. I was proud of my accomplishments and I worked my butt off to achieve them.
I went on to the University of Maryland College Park where I started as a double major in Art and Criminal Justice, with the aspirations to become an interior designer. I wanted to design model homes. I have a feeling this had a lot to do with the frequent stops my mom and I used to make to model homes, looking for ideas on how to redecorate our own home.
As I progressed in school, I felt rather lost, as if my majors and my dreams didn’t really correspond with one another, and as if becoming an interior designer wasn’t really what I wanted to be when I grew up. I finally realized that my true passion was teaching. I changed my major to early childhood education with the goal to become a preschool or kindergarten teacher upon graduation. I thought when I brought this up to my mom, she’d be upset. After 2.5 years I was re-declaring my major which would set me back a year in school meaning more tuition money from her and more years between me and graduation. Instead, she greeted the idea with excitement, as she has with all my dreams. She never fails to support me, no matter how farfetched my dreams may seem or how badly I’ve let her down. She is constantly there, with open arms and a shoulder to cry on.
My mom is my everything. When I was fourteen and reunited with my siblings after ten years of being apart, I experienced a lot of self doubt and hatred. I lost myself. But she was there, throughout it all, constantly reminding me that I was never alone and that I was loved no matter what. She pulled me through that depression and helped me to succeed, not only in school but in life. She taught me that no matter where I came from, no matter what my past may consist of, I am not limited by it. She taught me to use my past as a stepping stone to a successful future and as a motivator to go above and beyond all the expectations placed on me at birth, to prove to the world and to myself that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
When I finally escaped an abusive marriage, my mother never once lectured me on the mistakes I made or said “I told you so.” Instead, she was the smiling face that greeted me as I got off the plane, with her always open arms and warming embrace. When it took time for me to recover, to get back to my feet, she was unfaltering in her love, support and understanding. She gave me space when I needed to heal and companionship when I felt alone. She made it possible for me to move past everything I’ve endured to come to terms with my experiences. She’s helped guide me to a happier place, where I can pursue my dreams, no matter what they may be.
Words can’t fully describe how incredible my mommy is or how much she means to me. She’s a single woman who I know gave up marriage and years of her life, fighting for me. I try to explain to her how much I love her and how thankful I am, but there aren’t enough hours in a day to grasp the depth of her and how she’s touched my life, how she’s given me life. Someone asked her what she was most proud of in life and she responded “my daughter”. I really didn’t know what to say because in all honesty, I couldn’t have gotten to this point in my life, or accomplished so much, if it weren’t for her.
My mom is my everything: my mommy, my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my rock, my helping hand, my comedian, my hero. She has always been there for me and she’s taught me everything I know. She’s the reason I have grown into the person I am. She’s always given me the support and love I need to grow into my own person and to pursue my dreams, whatever they may be. She is unfaltering in her faith, love and support of me and for that I could never thank her enough. And as amazing of a mother as she’s been for me, I love her even more for how incredible of a grandma she’s become for Jax. The greatest moms are promoted to grandmas 🙂
She’s superwoman, without the cape.